Thursday, October 25, 2007

How Teletubbies Can Save The Planet

Watching teletubbies this morning with my 2 and 5 year old I realized why I always had a sick fascination for it - frankly even before I had kids. For one thing, the whole show is a a green utopia; a magical spinning wind turbine sticks out over a picturesque green hillside with blooming daisies surrounded by happy healthy plump little bunnies. The sun, has a giggling baby in it - a diaper wearing drooling toothless god that is always amused by the goings on of the world's inhabitants. I like this version better than ours; no sacrifice of first borns, no condemnation to an eternity in hell, no paradise banishing - they got it right.

Teletubbie world also is filled with multicolored inhabitants, that all like each other and seem to have equal status in their little world. They live in an Eco friendly grass covered house, and take naps (a possible answer for the incessant giggling). They have a pet that vacuums up their mess (yet another cause for celebration), and bellies that light up to show the better sides of life in our bizarre human inhabited alter reality. They are not bothered by their expanded waist lines, and never consider gastric bypass surgery, although they would probably all qualify. And rumors had it that one of them might even be gay, and yet not one other tubby takes issue with it.

I think what we really need to do is create a new movement, one which incorporates all these mindful attitudes - get rid of the acronym LOHAS and create a 'Tubbilosophy" - something less complicated, something that gets to the heart of what we yearn for, something that the next several generations of tubby watchers can identify with.

I want that happy giggling god, that green landscape free of traffic (electric or otherwise), I want naps in the afternoon followed by dancing, and friends of every color who I can be fat and happy with. I want my tummy to light up with positive messages, and I want every day to end with a smile. Maybe I am not a Lohasian, but a "Tubbilosopher. "

Given the option, I'd even convert, go door to door, maybe sport a padded purple suite with an inverted triangle on my head just for effect - to sell the case to the rest of the world. I'll go head to head with the Jehovah's - racing to hit the next cul de sac before they do. I know there is a better way, I always did - and that way maybe the Tubby way.

For now, I have to go...after all it just might be "time for tubby bye bye"


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