Monday, June 23, 2008
Watching my children grow, I’ve realized that life can be pretty difficult, even for an infant. In birth, the infant loses the comfort of the womb plus having all of her needs met totally and completely. It’s a pretty tough realization for the infant – having to state her needs instead of having them met instantaneously – no matter how responsive and loving the mother. And from there it only gets more complicated.
But that first loss teaches the baby to fight for life, and it is the foundation upon which all things are learned.
Experiencing a tragic loss has been a rebirth of sorts for me. It’s shaped my parenting, my perspective on life. For example, it’s taught me real lessons about the importance of making money. Prior to all this happening, I thought it was “un-spiritual” to think about money, or to desire it. Perhaps because I was satisfied with my life, it seemed greedy to want more.
However, now I see the connection between having money and responsibility. Money is simply one aspect of life, but if it is out of balance, it can create serious problems in all the aspects of your life. Taking responsibility for yourself means that you can never simply rest on your laurels. It means that you can never feel entitled to anything. It means that you can never give up.
Our instincts carry us through our primary lessons. For example, we all learn to walk regardless of how neglectful our parents are. However, after that, our instincts take a back seat to the lessons our parents teach us. While some of us have learned what not to do from the poor lessons presented by our parents, I doubt any of us reading this article are consciously choosing that path for our children.
So, what are we teaching our children as they watch how we learn our own life lessons? Are we teaching them to be open to life’s challenges, to use them to grow, inwardly and outwardly?
Watching my one-year-old son, I have a visual on just how tough it is for us to learn. Like me, he resists what he needs to know most. There are times that I would love to throw myself on the floor and kick and scream, but life has already taught me that that particular response doesn’t get you anywhere. He’s just at a different stage in the learning process.
We can comfort each other as we learn these lessons. We can love each other through the difficult parts. We can use humor to distract each other when it all becomes to much. But thankfully, we can’t take the lessons away from each other. Tempting as that might be, it would deny us the opportunity to grow and to reach our full potential. Like the baby who cries at birth, we must first learn to breathe on our own, and build from there.
For Part One of "Parenting Through Crises" - Go HERE
Lisa Fyfe is a contributing columnist for The Lohasian. Her column, “Life with Fyfe: Confessions of a Holistic Mom” delivers a perspective on the everyday life of a modern holistic mom, as well as provides an insider look into best strategies for natural health and healing for the whole family.
Lisa is a Reiki Master, and an expert in Essential Oil Healing, and has spent the last several years extensively researching traditional diet and nutrition, with a focus on “whole,” locally grown and raised natural foods. She is a married mother of two children, Sophie and Max. Lisa approaches mothering as her highest calling, and believes that all mothers are natural healers and enjoys helping mothers (and others) help their children through the use of a variety of natural modalities.
To Reach Lisa, Email Here at lisafyfe (at) verizon.net