--Feature: "Beginner at Life w/Alana Ruben Free"--
One day it became clear, I was actually rushing through my life and secretly hoping that I could get off this planet as quickly as possible. Why? Because although I did great in school and had experienced various other success in life, I was still a Beginner at Life. Why else was I so afraid and confused by the whole enterprise? Surely, I wasn’t plunked down here to blow through life and merely survive the whole ordeal of it. Finally, I began to pay attention to that incessant voice inside of me, causing me ceaseless anxiety banging around in my belly yelling, “LISTEN!”
Wow! Did that inner voice, my inner-teacher, have a lot to say! For those of you who have seen my play, "Beginner at Life," you know that inner teacher wasn’t just talking to me - but to the whole situation here on this planet that we all share. Loud and clear, that inner-voice helped me awaken to an understanding of a sort of global conditioning that we are all subjected to - ideas that are not intuitive to us and ultimately not aligned with our true nature. It was no wonder I felt shame, confusion and fear (not to mention completely overwhelmed at the prospect of simply becoming a healthy human being). That voice communicated what hopefully we all eventually understand: that all of life is sacred and every choice needs to show reverence for all life - not just your own.
Many of us deny our own inner connection to our soul, and do not know how to live in accordance with our own soul’s personal wisdom. The good news is that we are also simultaneously living in a time on this great planet where there are many channels available for those of us who do want to learn to live in harmony with ourselves, and with all of life. There are outlets for us to express our own unique soul and communities to support in this journey. We are not alone, if we choose not to be.
Through this journey of reconnection, we can break down the forces that stop us in our personal evolution and strengthen the inner forces that are there to assist us. We can now figure out together how to really experience inner and outer freedom, and discover the reconnection to our selves, each other and our global community. It is entirely available to us.
This journey to this reconnection is not only available to all of us, but is as unique as each of our spirits. Your first responsibility on this quest is to honor the process itself, and embrace it's unique twists and turns - as a great adventure...an extraordinary evolution. Remember to be gentle with yourself, to be patient, to understand that it will not always be simple nor straightforward...give yourself room to learn, to err, to grow - as a beginner at life.
Alana Ruben Free, co-editor of The Mom Egg, lives in NYC with her twelve-year old son. Her first solo-performance, Beginner at Life, is available on DVD, and has grown into a workshop that inspires women to express their beauty, wisdom and power. Fear and Desire, the sequel, will be ready for production in 2008. Free's column on The Lohasian explores perspectives on spirituality for the beginner.